I have been profoundly blessed with the gift of love. I was smothered in so much love growing up that when such times of destruction and pain arrived, I fear not because I knew love will resurrect me. My family has provided such an amazing foundation of what it means to truly be there through thick and thin, and be of good character, that even when I fall short, I have the confidence to rise up again. As I’ve recently heard from a Lauryn Hill speech, I’ve learned over the past seven months being in Europe that it is so much better to be righteous than to be right, and that’s exactly where I am now.
Since I have been back, things are not as I expected them to be, but they are indeed the way they ought to be. I’ve certainly been tested in the areas of love, and I have come to the conclusion that to truly loving unconditionally is the only love that really is. How redundant it is to say, “I love you unconditionally,” where love within its own definition is an act, behavior, and way of life of un-conditionality. More importantly, it is unconditional act that’s a choice. It’s so easy to love when you’re being love, but what happens when the people who were suppose to love you, be there for you, cheer you on, don’t love you back? What happens when your companions feel as they should be your competition or that your lover doesn’t even make the effort to love you back?
Love them anyway, but most importantly love yourself. That’s what I’ve decided to do, to love unconditionally, and to appreciate wherever I am. It’s incredibly healing. Life can be so painful, draining, cruel and humiliating, but love can bring you through all of that. With all that I do, whether it is school and work, or friendships and relationships, love allows me to serve in such a way that I do my best—that I live in my excellence. The beauty in that is my standard of excellence rises as I love more, and I’m happier, I’m more productive, and I am a better participant of life.
So, I have been profoundly blessed with the gift of love, and I’ll forever have a spirit of thankfulness as a result. Although I shall continue to go through these various changes, and develop into the woman I am to become, my heart must remain the same. I love my heart, and I pray my heart shall only change in the ways that resemble God.
Below is documentation of what I’ve learned in this class. I can truly say I have grown beyond measure from being abroad these past 6 months. It has been fun, exhilarating, life-changing, difficult, hard, eye-opening, etc. Being here has truly broaden my perspective and my scope on life. I truly believe that I am learning & beginning to live the life I was meant to live. So check it out the speech that was presented to my teachers, peers, and one of international presidents of Georgia Tech.
The things that we are to do in this lifetime typically manifest within 85 years, or approximately 745,104 hours, including leap years. It is in those hours our decisions determine our well-being, our legacy, the beginnings of our children and our children’s children. So I ask myself as a student of engineering and twenty-one years already spent, what am I to do? How am I to decide to live my life? What is the best way to spend my 740,000+ hours?
With calculator in hand and pen in other, I tried to create an equation for how I ought to spend my hours, because I am a scientist, and that’s what I do. I begin to use all the formulas I know, and between the combination of L’Hôpital, Bernoulli, Poisson, Hooke and the three Newton’s, I am merely left with numbers and symbols.
Fast-forward a couple months with calculator in hand and pen in other, I come to Europe and sign up for a course because it is a 3-hour credit course in which you travel Europe. Little did I know that my entire perspective would change in a matter of 48-hours expended over two months.
So within my 48-hours, these are the things that I’ve learned and people/places from which I learned them:
One man can light the fire to uniting countries that have been divided for thousands of years, Robert Schuman. You cannot build an impassible wall, unless you build unto infinity, Maginot line. It’s a blessing to have hours left and important to live a life full of purpose, Lorraine American Cemetery and Memorial. Artist tells the stories that text books can’t, Pompidou and Cour d’Or Museum.
Between the visit to Robert Schuman’s house and tour of the Pompidou, one thing is certain: I cannot take for granted that I have calculator in hand and pen in other.
The places we’ve gone are the places that people like us dared to create. Empires have been formed by new technologies, creative problem solvers and determined scientists. We carry the brains of those scientists of yesterday, and the facts are these: we’re still dealing with the same problems. Many people still don’t have clean water, we’re still fighting for freedom and the pursuit of happiness, and there’s still a struggle among people’s beliefs. We must study history and understand the problems of yesterday, to create the solutions of tomorrow. We must use all the scientific formulas we know in order to solve all the social issues our actions as humans have created.
But with great relief, it is with these same equations, we, my peers and I will create greatness with the understanding that our actions, our inventions, and our solutions affect all. That one day our insights will not only be defined by L’Hôpital, Bernoulli, Poisson, Hooke and the three Newton’s, but with the understanding of people and culture and their needs, whatever they may be.
So, how am I to decide to live my life? What is the best way to spend my 740,000+ hours? I still have no clue, but at least now I know my possibilities. I know that what I produce and what I give can save and improve lives, and influence and impact thousands. It is through finally experiencing history that I understand my importance and my power, calculator in hand and pen in other.
So I didn’t have the pleasure of watching BET’s Black Girls Rock, but I did see the newly developed legendary performance of Kelly, Marsha, Jill & Ledisi (Yes, I am on first named bases with these ladies). I have yet to see For Colored Girls the movie but I’m familiar withthe storyline and I have to say, I’m so glad that these productions are doing well, and are successful.
I think about being successful, quite often. Actually, I’m quite business minded and focused on life’s gifts. I think about my past decisions; I think about my past successes and failures; loves and lost’s. There are so many things I think about, but the thing that has shaped my thinking is the skin that I am.
We are taught to be fair, equal, and “right,” yet the world has yet to be fair, equal and right to far too many. In all honesty, I have very little complaints. I’m blessed beyond measure, but that doesn’t mean I do not see the inequalities against me and other people.
So where am I going—performances, the skin I’m in, inequalities? I’m treading the line of what really is and how I feel. When I listened to the words of Four Women, I saw myself in those lyrics. The last five years has been a walk through seasons of unfamiliarities, and I’ve become comfortable with the shaping of my character through these experiences.
I see the protected bubbles in which many children are raised in, and I’ve noted that although the bubbles may burst, their thought processes are still contained within such bubbles. In many ways, I feel as I belong to many categories because mine is still being created. As for me, my bubbles were layered, yet thin. It is through walking in realms of unfamiliarities that I’m learning to love “thick“ “bubble people” and people who’ve seen too much all the same.
At this point of my life, very few things feel familiar. I even look in the mirror at times and I see a woman who feels like a little girl yet powerful beyond measure—how contradicting? The way I love is so different now, and the way I believe can only be characterized as faith. I don’t even have a “type” anymore; I guess because I can no longer be characterized extensively any more. My manner is even different, and my thoughts are powerful & provocative.
I would like to say the unfamiliarities are shaping who I am, but breath by breath, breathing becomes easier. I really just think I’m bursting out my shell…I’m really just think I’m learning how to live the life I’m destined for.
1. My recent relationship experiences hasn’t been ideal but, I always have a great date—and he’s most often a
very “good catch.”
2. My “dates” usually are just…dates. Nothing more; nothing less.
3. Dating for me is a very casual thing.
I date because it’s fun. I’m very traditional and non-traditional in this respect. I like it when a guy asks me out on dates in order to get to know me. It is fun, it’s cool, and sometimes it goes somewhere and sometimes we just remain social and/or business connects. However, the non-traditional part in me doesn’t feel the need to “take it” any where or wait to ask to be taken out. If I ask, I’m paying. I like getting to know people because it’s so easy for me to relate to them.
Of course when I date guys, there is “some” sort of attraction/interest, but that doesn’t mean it ought to be pursued further than a date. Dates in my experience has allowed for having great conversation, getting to know someone and figuring out whether they should be in my life—let’s not forget a good time. Dating allows for things to be “light,” with the notion it “could” go there if we would like. It gives it time to evolve to whatever it needs/ought to be.
Lastly, I date well, and so should everyone else. The guys I date are all types, so I won’t limit myself to one “type” of man. We all have our own tastes, sets of rules/requirements, and physical preferences; nevertheless, you never know what you’ll find. From the guy holding down 3 jobs & going to the art institute/junior college, the PhD student who’s goals seem to match my own, to the athlete grinding with long practices and meetings, many men have a lot to offer and although they may not be the one for me or the next person, it’s a joy to get to know them. I take my experiences with people as they are, and appreciate them as they ought to be.
I like dating…because it brings on easy conversation….and that within itself is so sweet. So, until I’m in a relationship, then, I probably won’t say no to a date from a man who’s not….slack. You just never know… the one for me may not be package the way I expect, but he may be exactly what I need and want.
It feels so nice…you know… So, I always have a date? …
It’s just easy conversation…nothing more…nothing less.
***This post was spurred by recent posts at VSB and SBM–two blogs I read daily.**
My biggest fear in the last 5 years was saying what I felt/believed. As vocal as I am, I still lost my voice year by year because if I would have “said anything, I felt I would have lost everything.” I strangled myself in ways that affected me in every single aspect of my life. Whether it was not speaking up for my grades because of the opposition with my professors; not expressing my mind fully with my friends because I was scared of losing them; or not confessing my love because of the fear of losing once I’ve love again, there were too many cases in which I didn’t say something when I could have said anything.
God tells us that life and death is in the power of the tongue giving words more power than a .410 shotgun. What I forgot to take from that is that if you don’t say anything, it is just as detrimental as saying something. Europe has taught me to take my voice back, regardless who’s there and who’s listening.
The other day, I got into with a person and basically ended the confrontation with a perfectly delivered “phuck you.” Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am very much capable of doing such things, but I often choose otherwise. There was such freedom released in it; it was the first time in such a long time that I wasn’t afraid of what was going to happen next. My decision was final via my delivery and I was grateful to be living in the truth of my feelings & being.
Now I must be strategic in what I say. I can’t walk around delivering four letter words whenever I please, but I must live in the truth of my thoughts and beliefs. I should have said to a couple teachers, please re-grade this; I believe there are some mistakes/errors. I should have told a couple friends, you aren’t my friend, just a really good pretender, or you really hurt me when you do/did this. I should have told one or two guys, you aren’t my typical type, but I admire you in more ways than one—I think about you often, and I want to get to know you. There are so many things I should have said, but I allowed fear to hold my tongue.
If I’ve learned anything, I learned to talk again and I have found the strength I need to walk in the reality I create with the words I express. I came to the realization because of Kanye. I’m greater than before because I choose to be me, all that I am, regardless if it’s pretty or not, proper or ill-formal, sweet or bitter. I pray my bitter becomes sweeter, my ugliness becomes beautiful, but whatever is, I can’t hold it all inside anymore. Well, I simply choose not to rather. Thanks Kanye for being you…that allowed me to be me.
Don’t get it twisted people, I’ll turn my other cheek when the time comes for me to do so, but it may just be for one to kiss my….
Just playing guys…it’s all growth. It’s all real…It’s all from a colored girl’s perspective.
In my efforts to finish taking out braids, I have only a list full of confessions for the last post for this week. They aren’t all deep…well, some of them are. Through my blogs, I show the world who I am, and broadcast life from my point-of-view. So, as some of this may be personal, and some may be generic, it’s all me. So, confessions part one…here we go:
1. I really like chocolate…in all its forms. Cocoa, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, Belgium chocolate, Swiss chocolate.
2. If I weren’t in school for engineering, it would to become a chef. I absolutely love cooking. I feel at ease at peace.
3. I had a crush on Nick Cannon and Lee Thomson Young from age 10 to 14.
4. I haven’t been through a lot in a global perspective, but I’ve been through a wide range of things.
5. I haven’t been in love in a very long time.
6. If I could have an hour long conversation with 3 people in the world, it would be my father, President Obama, and Jesus before he was hung.
7. I plan to be a millionaire within 8-10 years, and only become richer.
8. I have really good muscle genes, so I don’t work out as I should, and I really hate running—but I want to lose 5 lbs.
9. I have many crushes, but I’m often shy when it comes to people I truly like/want to be with.
10. I have very few friends, but a whole lot of associates.
11. I love having company.
12. I’m secretly fancy.
13. I’m openly acoustic soul.
14. I’m hardly jealous, but it does piss me off when I see people waste blessings.
15. I don’t fight dirty.
16. I don’t understand women, and I am a woman, but I understand me. Weird.
17. I understand men, and I am not a man. Weird.
18. I would love to be in love with someone who’s in love with me.
19. I love Star Wars, comic book story lines, action figures, and karate.
20. I have treated most people better than they treat me.
21. I’m really happy our president married a black woman.
22. I’m still working on complete and full forgiveness.
I know there has been many women (and “friends”) that have seen me with a man, and wonder, “Damn, how she get him? I mean she cute, but she ain’t that cute.” Yes, unfortunately, this is true. Well, as much as I would like to attribute it to my resume, my treasure box, or my ability to cook anything I see or smell to perfection, I would have to say it is my mystique.
Now, people who really know me know that I am not “mysterious.” By no means are there things about me that you would not be able to find out if you only ask; nevertheless, there’s a certain mystique to my blunt honesty, giving heart, and “take-no-biscuits” attitude. Today, you guys are in luck to find out what it is about me, and every other strong 7’s out there.
Drum roll please.
It’s my substance.
The facts are these: I am an incredibly-designed woman in most of the aspects that actually matter. I am much more than your typical woman; I’m more so the woman who truly receives B+ across the board. I’ll admit I’m not the best at one particular thing, but I receive above average to excellent marks on all that I do/attempt (sometimes I can’t follow through, but don’t knock me for trying *evil grin*).
So what is this post about? Is it about my gloating about how wonderful a job God did when he made me? Well, no it is not. It is more so about how wonderful a job he did when He made everyone, and how we ought to have higher standards for ourselves each and every day in realms of dating.
The fact of the matter is we’re all guilty of being “thirsty.”
Thirsty: the exponential growth of wanting someone to scratch your itch in which you are willing to let some things slide, a.k.a. lower your standards, in order to scratch that particular itch.
Well, today, I announce to the world, thou shall not be thirsty. No, I’m not talking about the sanctified waters of Godly cleanliness. I simply can no longer stomach guys with no substance and a growing ability to fake it until my spirit truly demands for mental nourishment and stimulation—regardless of the thirstiness.
If I could, I would give this to every man who tries to talk to me on a business car:
“Please stimulate my mind first before you try to stimulate anything else. I can’t define myself to you in mere words, but I can show you my heart. I can never meet the world standards of beauty, but I can epitomize what is beautiful. You will never know why I am so attractive, but I will tell you it’s my spirit. It is the substance that you have been missing. It is the substance that you long for.”
The irony about all of this is that I don’t even know if people/men understand when trying to “holla” the blessing it is to have someone willing to kiss your soul and patch its wounds. There is something so sweet about having someone who is willing to hold you when all you can do is laugh or cry. There is something so sweet about true companionship because it is only then that we can be comfortable with each other, yet inspire each other to greater heights.
So I am cut from a different cloth; I’m more so cut from a quilt, but aren’t we all. Aren’t we all a lot of old and new experiences with beliefs and thought processes formulated only by or parents, friends, teachers and our education? Today, everyone is trying to be like everyone else. I’m guilty of it too, but being away has giving me time to develop me—sometimes that is mainstream, sometimes it isn’t, sometimes it’s fancy, sometimes it’s India.Arie.
People ought to embrace who they are; regardless of what is desired by popular culture. I find many women try to fit the mold of what a man wants, especially black women because of the ratio. I’m not saying don’t be sexy, don’t be appealing. Oh no! I’m all about being attractive. What is important that I convey is be yourself, and allow all that you want and is important to you be your substance. Some of the hardest things I have had to do were not go along with was expected because it was tradition or mainstream and simply be me. It is important to remain true to yourself so that you will be worthy of having, and missed when you are gone.
It takes great courage to be yourself, and to let your light shine, but it is within this courage that you find the greatest peace and comfort. When you’re comfortable in your own skin, you can define your cool, and that is indeed the sexiest thing in the world.
A woman’s mystique is not in between her legs, in her Coach bag (I really like Coach; they make awesome it bags/purses/clutches/etc.), in her clothes, in her appearance, or even in her resume. It is in her substance; it is in her ability to feed others’ souls and birth life into weakened spirits. It is in what she gives, and not expects back. It is in her ability to be her sister’s keeper, and husband’s lover. It is enveloped into everything she is, all that she does, and how she unconditionally loves.
If you haven’t caught on by now, this week topic is about me and my relations and relationships with men. The irony is 14 years ago on tomorrow, my father died. What an appropriate week to talk about men? My father’s death would be the onset of my defining how a man ought to treat me based on the seven years I had with him. How right and wrong I would be throughout the years have brought me to this point to realize that there has yet to be anyone who truly tickles my fancy in such a way to commit my life to them, but through my necessary failures of dating and relations with such men, I have found one thing that has kept me “winning.” Though many guys ultimate pursuit has been my sweetness, it has been the pursuers of my heart that has impacted my life the most—you know who you are.
So, as I reminisce of the greatness of my father, I am beginning to reflect of what my daddy taught me, and how it has transpired into my dating life. Well, there all many things he taught, but here are the main pointers.
1. Always walk on the inside of the street/opposite of traffic when you are with a man.
My father used to hold my hand (or carry me on his shoulders), and he always made sure that I was on the inside of the street. I remember once our car was in the shop, and I really wanted to go to the fair, so he took me and my sister to the fair—we walked about 5 miles! This taught me that I was indeed special and worthy of walking five miles for. It also allowed me to not be afraid of a man being a man. It taught me that there is something so sweet about being taken care of by someone who cares for you. Men are suppose to protect; they are suppose to provide; they are suppose to willing to walk the long way when you’re too scared to jump the fence. When a man isn’t willing, he isn’t worth being in my life.
2. He told me not to be a punk.
I’ve told this story a thousand times, but this has been something that I carried throughout my life. My father was a black belt, and he had a karate school. One day, we were working on kata’s for an upcoming karate tournament, and I wanted to give up because two guys from our sister karate school always beat me. So I wanted to give up. My father took me and told me, “Whitney, stop being a little punk.” (Remember, I was 7 which makes this story funnier the older I become.) I’m sure he said some other things along with that, but that was basically it. Since then, when it came to men, I haven’t taken the victim approach. You know, the “oh, he did this to me,” or “he act like he don’t want me, but I know he does,” or, “I can’t believe he did this…” I have hardly ever felt things were done to me that I didn’t see coming or welcome. Sometimes, I saw it coming; sometimes I was the one making the mistake. Sometimes, I really just got played/used/abused. Fact of the matter is, I never played the “victim card” when it came to men. I took my punches or coach bags like a champ. People are human, and I can’t expect perfection from no one, but I can expect him not to be a punk, and for me not to be one either.
3. Attitude is everything.
It is easy for me to find a man for at least companionship because I have a good attitude on life. Although some of my post may come off as being pessimistic about men, the fact of the matter is that all of the men I have dealt with have been amazing men. If I HAD to, I could be married and have children for at least the last 6 men that I have dated, and I think that says a lot. The fact of the matter is, having a good attitude affects your likeability. Many women just aren’t enjoyable to be around. Be pleasant and smile. While you are at it, cook some noodles, and pop in a video game. Trust, these small things will assure you to always have someone of the opposite sex as a friend—and that helps between the times you truly are single.
4. Keep your word.
This is one of the things that have broken and built my relationships—and not just my romantic ones, but with friends. One time, my father told me that if I win 1st place, he would buy me a TV. Let’s just say I just bought a new TV this year. If someone says they are going to do something, they ought to do it. There are no excuses. You know what excuses are??
Anyways, I find that I wash my hands with people who don’t keep their word; who don’t be there for me when they say they will. I’m forgiving, yet I don’t forget. Once a person has broken their word to me, they’ve broken their bond. Sometimes things happen, but some things shouldn’t always happen. Keeping your word to me, even if it hurts, is the most important thing to me. This is to not be confused with perfection; it falls more so in the category of integrity. It wasn’t until the last year or two that I had to cut people out of my life based on integrity and the weakness of their word. All I have to say is, keeping your word is incredibly important to me. If I ever say “For better or worse,” you better believe I’m going to follow through.
5. People are important.
We didn’t have much money growing up. We were middle class, but I didn’t know that based on the amount of people we always had over eating, playing cards, and simply around. I was RICH B#$*#. (Okay, I had a Rick James moment.) Seriously though, I was. I had family; I had friends. I believe that’s why the people who are important to me, I make sure I treat them well, and I love having people over for this very reason. I’m careful with the hearts that I’ve been entrusted with. My father friends have even written/told me about how good of a friend he was, and I try to be the same—especially in my relationships. My loyalties run deep, and my soul is all the more beautiful for it.
These are the things my father taught me, and there are so many things he teaches me year by year. So, I don’t have my father anymore, but I have him in me. I am strong, and I am worthy of greatness because that is what he was, and that is what he instilled in me.
I can appreciate men for who they are, and the role they play/played in my life, but I don’t mind losing any of them because I know I do my best by them and it is truly their lost to not have me. I believe if more people lived their life in this way, dating and relationships would be so much easier. Appreciating people for who they are, and realizing who they are and who they can and cannot be in my life has made life all the easier.
My father managed to cover the important basis in 7 years, and for this I am forever thankful. I am blessed to have had him….
But….
I still miss my daddy, and I wish October 13 didn’t mean a damn thing. He truly was the greatest….
It’s day two, and I’ve been catching up on school and rest from traveling the world. Well, as much as I would love to write about my travels, I rather discuss something that has been on my mind lately—God and sex.
The notion of mixing spirituality and sexuality was first formally introduced by my pastor in a series he dubbed, Spirituality and Sexuality. (Check it out at http://www.impactdoingchurchdifferently.org/index.php/live/sermons/ ) This was, about 4 months ago, and I am still thinking about how I cope with my spirituality and sexuality on a daily basis.
Now, before we truly dive into this, note that this post is about to go there. If you are easily offended, please do not proceed forward. If you are holier than thou, please do not proceed forward. If you’re a family member/close family friend/etc, and wish not to see me in such lights, please, do not proceed forward.
You have indeed been warned, and this shall forever be your last chance to press the small “x” on the screen, and wait for tomorrow’s post.
Okay, now that’s out of the way, I shall continue.
Every single day, I think about God. I am in fellowship with God. I talk to Him. I am still so I can listen to His guidance and follow the ways in which he guides. I spend time with Him that belongs to us.
I can honestly say I have a heart after God’s. Sometimes, I make mistakes, but my intensions are often pure, and I truly do my best by people, regardless. But, in this highly sexualize society is constantly imposed on me, I have fallen victim to sin—“even my conditioning has been conditioned.” (Sorry, one of my favorite quotes of all time; I had to throw it in there.)
What sin am I talking about? Well, it’s sex! Making love, knocking the boots, tappin’ the assets, tootin’ it up, cooking breakfast…okay, you have an idea of what I’m talking about. I can’t get to adultery today or probably this year, because today’s highly committed sin is the most acceptable sin of all—fornication—and this conversation is way overdue.
It is ironic how “shackin’ up” has become more and more acceptable in our society. People have always done it, and have always known others to do it, but now, no one even hides it, no one even care to follow Victorian etiquette, and the courtship of a woman into performing ultimate acts of giving.
Nope, not at all, so where does God fit into fornication and this promiscuous society in which we all live. Well, it doesn’t, or perhaps it does? Perhaps, I break God’s heart every time I choose to lay my head close to another (no pun intended). Perhaps, it is ludicrous to believe that God really only wanted you to knock boots with one. Or even, perhaps we have interpreted/translated the bible completely wrong, only to be bamboozled by men to save ourselves(women) for them so they can be the only key into the treasure that lies between our legs. Who knows? One thing is certain, my conversation about God and my sins aren’t disconnected; if anything, they are the same conversation, and are just as intertwined as my salvation and His mercy.
My spirit wants to be delivered from such fantasies, but at the same time, it does not. Full of contradictions I am. (Sorry, I had a Star Wars moment.) The fact of the matter is many of us Christians aren’t convicted enough to stop our behaviors despite the statistics of STD’s and HIV, broken hearts and homes, and constant drama. The exhale after climbing to the mountain top is as desirable as world peace and food for all the hungry. Heaven forbids you find a person who not only tickles your fancy, but also your funny buttons in ways you find much more satisfying than a good hardy laugh. O yes, anyone who ever says sex is over-rated to you is lying and/or probably has yet to experience such gratification that leaves you not only in relaxed-calming state, but an inspiring-I-am-going-to run a 10K and take-over-the-world state that leads to weeks of euphoria and productive activity. Yes, sex can indeed be that good & powerful—
Yet…what about the goodness of God? What about the sacrifice He has made, and consistent mercies that he has given you? What about the relationship with the only being who can bring you complete fulfillment? What about the euphoria, excitement and peace you gain as you grow deeper into love with God? What about the almighty power of God?
Now, I hope no one finds this highly sacrilegious. Trust me, my worship is for real. I believe anyone who is truly in-tune with their growth, sexuality and spirituality will also understand the constant battle of spirituality and sexuality—especially for non-married people. Sex is beautiful, and it is meant for husband and wife. I believe it is meant to be an instrument of praise and worship for marriages, as well as communication, as well as the obvious—reproduction. How often we, humans, make something so sacred, precious, and miraculous into something so bane, tainted and common?
I’m not saying that I am committed to a life of celibacy until marriage, nor am I saying I’m going to continually test God’s mercy. All I am saying is that I can’t separate the two—my spirituality and sexuality. Some may say I’m a hypocrite, some may say that I’m a confused soul. Well, to those people, I say I am human, and that through it all, my worship, my heart, and my love are for real. If I cannot be honest with myself, who am I to be honest with God, or anyone else for that matter?
